But I Say to You

Mark Whittall
Nov 1
5 min read

Jesus is a great teacher. And like all great teachers, he has some tricks of the trade, ways of drawing us in and then surprising us with new ways of looking at life. Sometimes he does this by telling stories. Other times, he starts by saying something that we all agree with, but then he goes beyond it.

“You have heard it said”, he tells his audience, giving them something familiar, getting their heads nodding. “But I say to you,” he continues, and with this, he tells them something new, catching his followers by surprise, causing their mouths to drop, and eyes to open.

That’s what’s going on in today’s gospel.

Some people think that the high point of today’s gospel is what we call the golden rule. “Do to others, as you would have them do to you.” It is probably the most famous ethical principle in the world - that’s why we call it the golden rule. It’s not just Jesus who says it. There are versions of the golden rule found in Judaism, in the writings of Confucius, in the hieroglyphs of ancient Egypt, in the Mahabharata, the ancient epic of India. The golden rule is a universal ethic which encourages empathy, mutuality, fairness and respect. It is an ethic of reciprocity and many ethicists regard it as the pinnacle of how we should live.

But for Jesus this is just the starting point.

You have heard it said, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

But I say to you, “Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you.”

Because if you love those who love you, where’s the grace in that? If you do good to those who do good to you, where’s the grace in that? If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive payment, where is the grace in that?

Grace goes beyond reciprocity.

It’s not the only time that Jesus has tried to move his followers beyond reciprocity, beyond the patterns of reciprocal love that they understood as God’s commandment.

When an expert in the law asks Jesus how he should live, they both agree that you should love your neighbour as yourself. But when the lawyer asks the further question “and who is my neighbour?” that’s when Jesus tells the parable of the Samaritan and the beaten man, a Judean, lying in a ditch. In those days, Judeans hated Samaritans. Your neighbour, then, is the one whom you hate, the one you regard as your enemy, the one who may never love you back, the one who you think would mistreat you if given the chance. This too is the one you should love.

Because if you love those who love you, where’s the grace in that? Sure, we all agree that it’s good to love those who love you, nothing wrong with that. Reciprocity, mutuality, fairness – none of these are bad things. The Golden Rule is good, but Jesus is calling us to go beyond. Jesus is calling us to something more, and that something more is grace. We are being urged to live with grace. To be merciful, just as our Father is merciful. To be gracious, as our Father is gracious.

Grace is love that is freely given, with no expectation of return, no strings attached. Grace is unreciprocated kindness, pure gift, unconditional love. We were created in the image of God. Grace is how we embody that image.

Because grace is the way that God loves, the way that God loves us. God created this universe and all of us out of love, and God doesn’t stop loving us when we fail to love in return. No, teaches Jesus, God is more like the Father of the prodigal Son, who continues to love and scans the horizon, waiting for our return, and throwing a party when we do. God is more like the shepherd who leaves the 99 to seek out one lost sheep. God is the one who when we were still far off, stretched out his arms on a cross, forgiving us, redeeming us and making visible his love for us. For God so loved the world, each one of us, as we are, friend or foe, all the world and all people, that he gave his only Son for us, expecting nothing in return, for how could we return such a gift. This is grace: unconditional love, gift given, with no strings attached.

It is in this image that we were created. We were created to live lives of grace, and to be a means of God’s grace in this world.

And that is one tough assignment.

Because we have a hard time loving our friends let alone our enemies. And we’re not even sure if loving our enemies makes sense. We can’t imagine how the things Jesus talks about, doing good to those that hate us, lending without expecting to be paid back, we’re can’t imagine how these are practical in the real world, in our cultures and our societies. From anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt – well maybe the saints can do that but I’m not sure I can. And we have winter here in Canada.

Grace is counter-cultural. Grace is counter-intuitive. Evolution and human history have conditioned us to be reciprocal, tit for tat, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. From our earliest years we have had an innate sense of what’s fair and what’s not. Just ask any two-year-old.

Which is why Jesus, the great teacher that he is, begins where we are. With something we can all agree on, even if we may not be too good at it in practice. With the golden rule:

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

All around the heads are nodding. This we understand, this we can at least aspire to.

Then he takes them beyond:

“And love others, be kind to them, without expecting them to reciprocate, expecting nothing in return.”

Then he pushes a bit further:

Indeed, I say to those of you who are listening, who are really listening, who are still listening: “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you, do good and lend, expecting nothing in return.”

In so doing you will lean in to your identity as children of God - for isn’t this what God is like? God is kind and merciful to the ungrateful and to those who do wrong. This is grace, and grace is how we live into and embody the image of God in which we were created, this is how we become the people we were created to be.

Do not judge, do not condemn. Give and forgive. This is the way of grace.

I had a birthday this week. I’m 63 years old, still young to some of you, and quite ancient to others. I figure I’m at least old enough to take a look back at my life and some of the things I’ve learned over the years. Of all the things that I’ve learned, the most important is to live with grace. It’s not easy, and I’m not particularly good at it, though I think I’m getting better. I have my moments. And when I do have a moment of grace, and can even string a few moments together, my life and the lives of those around me, are better. More abundant. Of all the things that I’ve learned as a follower of Jesus over many years now, and there are many, yet without a doubt, the most important thing, and the one that has had the most profound impact in my life, is grace.

Love given freely, as it has been freely received.

Reciprocity? Mutuality? Fairness? The golden rule? Sure, they’re all good. But I say to you, live with grace.